


Cruelty Potential

by TimidMarshmallow



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Potion hoarding, Shoving, flying car, just Noctis being a real pain, noct is a jerk, reset, testing that loyalty, what fourth wall
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-01
Updated: 2017-04-07
Packaged: 2018-10-13 14:39:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10515774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TimidMarshmallow/pseuds/TimidMarshmallow
Summary: Noctis can be a real jerk sometimes.The others are just confused.





	1. Chapter 1

"Noct, I'm beat. Can we stay at that hotel?" Prompto twisted around to look at the king. 

"Sure, no use trying to change your mind." 

Ignis turned the car around. The Regalia parked in front of the motel and they all climbed out. Noctis sat back down. 

"Huh? Noct, we're here."

"Get back in the car." Noctis restarted the vehicle. 

"But-"

"Get in the car." The confused Crownsguard sat back down and Noctis drove off. 

"Noct-"

Noctis flipped on the radio and began changing the stations. They heard three second snippets of about twenty different songs before Noctis turned off the radio. Two miles later he parked the car. "Everybody out."

Prompto looked around. They were several feet from where their bounty was located. 

Ignis jogged to catch up to the sprinting king. "Why did we bother stopping if you wanted to complete the bounty now?"

"Didn't want to tell Prompto no."

"Don't you think that was meaner? Getting all our hopes up?" 

Noctis just warp striked away from the aggravated advisor. He slammed into the killer wasp as Prompto shot the one next to him. Ignis charged forward and Gladio ran to assist Noct. 

After several minutes of fighting Ignis was hit with a stinger. He stumbled around, confused. Unfortunately, that meant he stopped fighting, and all the wasps converged on the harmless advisor. They began pummeling him. 

"Noct, Iggy needs a potion!" Gladio smacked a wasp away, but it flew back with a vengeance. The shield couldn't get to Ignis. 

"Prompto!"

The blond yanked his attention from the wasp he had been aiming at and fired where Noctis was pointing. One of the insects surrounding Ignis fell. "Prompto, again!" He was forced to roll out of the way of an incoming attack, but he fired again. "Prompto!" The gunner shot the wasp above Noctis' head. 

Ignis screeched as he fell. "Ignis!" Prompto tried to run over to give him a potion, but a number of wasps blocked his path. Ignis slumped to the ground. 

"Seriously!? Dead again? You died in the last battle almost immediately! Get up, stupid." Noctis finally warped to Ignis' aid. He shoved the Phoenix Down into his friend's hand. "These aren't cheap, you know." 

As Ignis sat up, Gladio stared. Noctis was rude? To Iggy? What was going on? He didn't have much time to contemplate this latest character oddity, a wasp knocked him in the side. 

"Gladio, do it!" The shield swung his greatsword. The insects simply flew higher to avoid the attacking metal. 

"You've gotta be kidding me. This is why I always call Prom. He never misses! Prompto, shoot it already!" 

The gunner's attention was once again pulled away. He fired at the wasp bothering Gladio. It fell. The one he had been focusing on moved closer. He turned back to shoot, but the stinger caught his arm. "Aaah! Help-" Noctis had already warped. His sword cut clean through the midsection. 

"Let's go collect that sweet gil." He immediately turned to run back to the car. 

"Noct, I think Prompto's been intoxicated." Ignis helped the sickly gunner move forward without falling over. 

"He'll be fine in a minute. Get in the car before a red giant shows up." The older man began to argue. 

"Just give him an antidote, we have plenty. Why prolong his suffering?" Ignis adjusted his grip on Prompto's arm. 

"Guys, I'm okay, really, I just-"

"Quiet. Do you hear that?" Noctis held up a hand. They all strained to listen. 

An odd clanking, bubbling whine cut through the night. A fiery sword emerged from the ground. "What did I say? Let's go around it." 

As he led them past the daemon Prompto stood up straighter. "I'm okay now, Iggy. Thanks."

Noctis flicked on the radio again as they drove off. He actually let an entire song play, singing along like he was at a concert. When it finished he put the song again. Prompto hesitantly joined in. 

The king drove them to a different motel, muttering about experience multipliers. Nobody knew what he was talking about. 

-o-

It was two o'clock when they finally flopped onto a hotel bed. They had checked and rejected two hotels because Noctis deemed them unworthy. Nobody knew what his criteria was. 

In any case, the party woke up the next morning ready to take on the world. 

"Dude, what are you wearing?" Prompto stared at the sombrero. 

"Change your clothes." Noctis put his hands on his hips, jacket lifting as he moved his arms. 

"Uh, why? I mean-"

"Change. Your. Clothes."

Prompto scurried into the bathroom. What was going on? He emerged from the restroom in a different outfit. 

"Take off the jacket."

Prompto removed the turtleneck vest. "Um, Noct-"

"Change back. But leave the vest off." Prompto complied, bewildered. He stood in front of Noctis once more. "Eh, put it back on. I think I'll change too." 

Prompto stood there in his original outfit. What the hell just happened? 

Noctis returned from the bathroom in his all black attire. "Come on, let's go find the other two." They had gone ahead to restock supplies. 

Prompto followed Noctis out of the hotel room. He bumped into the suddenly stationary man. "Noct?"

Noctis darted forward and leapt over the short fence. He knelt to pick something up. "Ooh, another one!" Noctis moved further away and began jumping. And cursing. "It's right there! Just grab it!" Noctis jumped a few more times, cursing at himself before he finally knelt down. He picked up the rare coin. "Score!"

Prompto didn't know what he had just witnessed. Noctis made his way back to the blond and began moving really close. Prompto moved back. 

Noctis just moved closer. Prompto danced back. Noctis kept on invading his space, and Prompto's back hit the wall of the hotel. Noctis was still moving closer. 

"N-n-noct?"

The king whipped out his phone and held it inches from the blond's face. "You've got such awkward grace. Stay still. I want a picture."

"You could have just asked, you didn't need to-"

Noctis grabbed his arms and pulled him around so that he was facing the hotel, ignoring the yelp of surprise. "Hmm, yeah. That's a better background."

"Noct, you're really scaring-"

"Smile." Noctis took a pic of his anxious friend. "Alright. This new filter looks awesome." He walked away looking at his phone, tapping furiously. 

Prompto followed him, still perplexed. 

-o-

They had been driving for a while before they pulled into the gas station. 

"Wanna hit up the Crow's Nest?"

"If you wish to put on weight? Certainly."

"Yeah, I know..."

"Whoa whoa whoa stop. That was incredibly rude. Just cuz you do all the cooking and manage all our diets doesn't mean you get to guilt trip him out of eating some fries. We run around enough that he'll burn off the calories quickly. Or something. I didn't really pay attention in health class. Prompto, do you really want the fries?"

They all stared at Noctis. Gladio poked Prompto, urging him to answer before the king exploded into another rant. 

Noctis looked like he might be angry if Prompto declined. "Y-yes???"

"Good, let's go to the Crow's Nest."

The king's friends ate the fries in terrified silence. Noctis, however, was busy making fun of the other diner goers. 

"Gladiator sandals and a polo shirt? Haha, and that guy's voice sounds like a serial killer. Hey, a little girl! Wow, children in an adult game. You don't see that often. Guess its cuz I'm not a murdering, carjacking, thieving psychopath like that other game."

"Noct, what the hell are you saying? You've been acting strange since last night." Gladio had had enough. 

"Stay here, I'll be right back." Noctis walked over to the counter and asked the waiter for a new bounty. 

"Guys, I'm worried. He's been getting steadily... meaner." Prompto whispered while Noctis was distracted. 

Ignis nodded. "This is certainly becoming a problem." If Prompto admitted that the king was bullying him, then it was more serious than Ignis originally thought. 

Gladio leaned forward. "You talk to him, Blondie. He just tunes us out." Ignis nodded once more, feeling like a bobblehead. 

"What am I supposed to say? I tried telling him earlier that he was scaring me, but-" Prompto clamped his mouth shut as Noctis plopped back down into the booth. 

"Whatcha guys whispering about?"

Ignis sighed. "You. You've been acting really odd."

"That's nice. Look, our next bounty is some spiracorns." Noctis held the poster up. "Chocobros, roll out."

"Chocobros?" Ignis looked affronted. 

"Yeah, that's what I'm calling our group now. Come on, these evil unicorns won't slay themselves."

-o-

"Help me, you losers!" Noctis was stumbling away from the malicious horse. 

Prompto ran over as fast as he could. The spiracorn he had been aiming at just turned to attack Ignis. 

Prompto helped Noctis. "Thanks Prom. You're like the only one I can ever count on in battle." 

Prompto blushed. Noctis did seem to call on him more, and he was always the first one to rush over when Noctis fell. 

"Now light 'em up, Prompto." 

The horses were no match for the piercing bullets. 

Gladio led them away. Or, he started to, but there was a blue flash in front of him. "I'm the leader. I'm the king, you follow me. Got it?" Noctis summoned a sword and pointed it at him. 

"What are you doing???" Gladio was enraged. 

Noctis switched weapons. "Listen. Each weapon makes a different sound when I summon it." He summoned another sword and did a little flourish, almost slicing Gladio again. 

Noctis was suddenly shoving Ignis out of the way. "Look, we can use these to paint the car!" He ran over to a rock and began picking up some stones. He spotted some more spiracorns a short distance away. "Come on. I know it's not part of the bounty, but we need the practice." 

Ignis tried a new approach. "Highness. We are exhausted. I will make your favorite fish meal if we can just get back to a hotel or haven."

"You'll cook what I tell you to cook. Fish, cheesecake, toast, whatever. Now stop whining and come level up."

-o-

They made it back to the car. How, Prompto didn't know, but he was glad to finally be sitting. Ignis started to drive away. 

"Get out. I wanna drive." Noctis had a smirk on his face. Ignis just moved, he was too tired to argue. 

They drove normally for four miles. Then the Regalia suddenly braked. Everyone was thrown forward. "Noct!? What happened?" Prompto peeled himself off of the dashboard. 

Noctis giggled. "Nothing. Just a leg spasm. Sorry, boys." He kept driving. A mile later he braked again. 

"That's it! I'm driving! Get out of the driver seat!" Ignis reached for the door but Noctis started driving again. 

"Hey, Iggy. We upgraded to a flying car, but you never fly." Noctis flicked a switch on the console, and the car started to transform. The roof raised and they took off. 

Noctis flew like a madman. Everyone else clutched their seats for dear life. 

"NOOOOOCCCCTT!" Prompto didn't even realize he was screaming, he had clenched his eyes shut and covered his ears. 

That meant he didn't see the cliff they rammed into. 

Noctis cursed. "I forgot to save!"

-o-

"Noct, I'm beat. Can we stay at that hotel?" Prompto twisted around to look at the king. 

"Sure, no use trying to change your mind." 

Ignis turned the car around. The Regalia parked in front of the motel and they all climbed out. 

Noctis payed for the hotel room. 

"Thanks, Noct, you're the best!" Prompto slung an arm around his best friend as they all walked to the hotel room. 

Noctis just smirked.


	2. Chapter 2

"Why don't you wear more clothing? I mean you're working on cars all day... Surely a bikini, a jacket, and a trucker hat are not suitable protection for the mechanical work you do." Noctis gestured to Cindy's outfit. "And honey? Cowgirl boots and daisy dukes? Can you say 'bad taste'?"

"Teehee, I'm wearing the official Hammerhead uniform. I don't see what the problem is, city boy. Your little friends don't seem to mind." 

She pointed in the general direction of the other three, who were somewhere inside the minimart. Actually, they were exiting just now. 

"Aww, are you jealous they're paying attention to me? Can't handle when your boyfriends show interest in others? Scared I'll snag that cute little blond guy?" Cindy smirked at him, but quickly donned an innocent expression when she saw the Crownsguard wandering over. 

"Howdy, boys. I was just tellin' this here prince how much it'll cost to upgrade yer engine."

Ignis hummed. "Approximately how long will that take?"

"Not long at all, y'all just sit tight." 

"Paint the car red." 

"Noct, are you sure? I mean, it's your dad's car, you told me-" Prompto was silenced by a hand over his mouth. Noctis had moved behind him to firmly grip the blond. All attempts at freedom were futile. 

"Actually make it purple. No, pink."

Gladio scoffed next to where the king was holding Prompto. "Noct, seriously?"

"What's wrong, Gladio? Can't be seen in a fabulous car? Let's go. And hurry up, Cindy, before the daemons come out. We've got to get to Cape Caem." Noctis sneered at the mechanic and dragged the still squirming Prompto away, the other two trailing behind. 

He finally let go of the blond behind the diner. "NOCT!? What was that about!?"

"Don't talk to her. She's secretly evil."

"What are you talking about, dude?" Prompto moved behind Ignis. 

"She's corrupting your innocence with her exposed thighs. Besides, no one even really ships you two. I checked Tumbloor, and everyone ships us. All four of us. Which is weird, but who am I to fight the fandom?" He winked seductively at all three of them. Prompto just shrunk behind Ignis further. What the hell was Tumbloor?

Noctis continued rambling. 

"The only villain greater than her is Kenny Crow. He forced me to drink a Jetty's once. Against my will!" 

Gladio placed himself between Noctis and the other two. "What are you going on about? Niflheim is our enemy. And that creepy chancellor."

"Yeah, Ardyn's a '£¥<|€&', but even his brand of villainy is tame compared to those two." His friends stared. How had he made that noise with his mouth? "Why are you staring? Oh, because of my censorship. Yeah, I don't want the rating to be adjusted. So no actual cursing."

Ignis snapped. "You're not making any sense whatsoever. May we please go to the caravan now, without any more nonsense?"

"I guess. Ya whiny baby." 

-o-

The coral pink Regalia landed in front of the JM Market truck. "Told you I could land it! Fork over the gil, Ignis!"

A thousand gil exchanged hands. "Come on, Gladio. Let's go see your poor, delusional sister." 

"Don't you dare tease her. She can't help that she fell in love with Prince Charmless. The teenage heart is a mystery, I don't see what's so attractive about you." Gladio was very defensive when it came to his sister. 

"Hey, just because I actually cover my abs doesn't mean I'm not attractive." Noctis ran around the house, ignoring Iris as she shyly waved. He also ignored the restaurant owner who bought produce from them. Kneeling in the dirt, Noctis pulled out the carrots. 

He shoved them at the man standing a few feet from the garden. "Give me the goods!" The man handed over some decals. "Why do you, a restaurateur I've never seen before, have stickers of my friends and me? I mean, it's cool that we're eight bit, but why do I need to give you these carrots for them?"

Prompto and Ignis shifted awkwardly behind their king. He was ranting again. 

Gladio walked over, arm around his sister. "Hi, Noctis. How long are you guys staying?"

"In your dreams, girly. Where's my man Talcott? I love that little booger." Noctis whipped around. "Prompto, let's go. I need your camera. My crappy phone one won't properly capture this."

"Capture what, Noct?" Prompto cautiously followed Noctis. He was still shaken from the king's comment about 'shipping'. Prompto had looked it up on his phone in the car, and had felt nauseous ever since. 

People thought they did that? In the tent? And the car?

Noctis didn't seem repulsed when he mentioned it earlier. Prompto hoped Noctis wasn't hiding anything like those weird fanfics suggested. He didn't want to have to fight the man he considered an older brother off of him. 

"Hey, little buddy! How's that statue collection coming?" He whispered to Prompto as Talcott rattled on about how excited he was to see them. "Start recording."

Prompto held up the camera and pressed the button. 

"Hey, Talcott how did that cactuar thing go again?" Noctis grinned as Talcott posed and imitated the thousand needle attack. "Do it again."

The boy danced around for five minutes before going to walk away. 

"Hey, come dance more! I didn't say you were done." 

"But Noct, he just-" 

Noctis moved closer to Prompto, who practically leapt back. "Hey, we can get some nice looking photos. The ocean makes for a pretty background."

Talcott sighed in relief. He was tired of dancing, and he mentally thanked the blond for distracting the crazed royal. 

-o-

"Ah, the breeze feels good!" Prompto tried to make light conversation as he struggled to keep pace with the king. Noctis just stopped. Prompto passed him before he halted as well, turning back to see what was wrong. 

"You always say that. Or Ignis will say 'rather sultry'. And Gladio says 'stinkin hot'. I understand it takes time and gil to get new dialogue, but surely we could get some downloadable content. They could add more conversations. Ooh, and more outfits." 

"Noct. What does that even mean?" Downloading content from where?

"I mean, they just updated. They could have added more goodies. Wait, they updated! We can go climb those arch things now!"

Noctis grabbed Prompto's wrist and yanked him back towards the house. "Let's get the others and go." 

Prompto panicked. "Dude, let go!" He wrenched his arm free and fell back onto his butt. 

"I completed the storyline, I know all about your wrist, now let's go already!" Noctis darted off. 

Prompto sat there shaking. He knew? And he was okay with it? But what storyline? He had no idea what was going on, but he stood up to follow his friend. 

The car was driven instead of flown, and the passengers were grateful. The king was no pilot. They parked at the Cauthess gas station. 

"Why are we climbing this arch?" Gladio was still a little ticked off at the way Noctis had treated his sister. 

Noctis giggled. "No reason. Now climb with me!" But the king proceeded to hop up the rock structure. 

He looked back to make sure they were following. "Hey, where are you guys? You can't have escaped... You're programmed, I mean, really dedicated to follow me." Noctis turned back to see how far he had come. 

They were all standing right behind him. He cursed. "Can you not? I didn't even hear you!" 

"We've been here the entire time. Now may we please return to solid ground?" Ignis pushed his glasses back up. 

"Oh, you want solid ground? How about a shortcut?" Noctis had a malicious grin. 

He summoned a sword and all three of his friends inched back, mindful of the edge. 

Gladio stumbled as Noctis ran at him. He fell. 

Noctis laughed and turned to the remaining two. Ignis stood in front of Prompto protectively. "What are you doing? You just murdered Gladio!" 

"Don't worry, Iggy. Very soon, you won't remember any of this." Noctis sauntered forward. 

"Prompto, run!" Ignis dashed forward. Noctis simply sidestepped the attempted tackle and shoved the advisor off of the arch. 

"Oh, Blondie! Prompto, Prompto! Come here!" Noctis held up his phone, opened to the camera app. "The view is incredible up here. Take a selfie with me..."

"Stay back! N-n-noct... Why? Why are you acting so strange and violent!?" Prompto stood frozen in place. Where could he go? Even if he ran, Noctis could just warp to him. 

"Let's go join the others." Noctis tackled him off of the edge. Prompto squeezed his eyes shut. 

When he opened them he was on the ground. Unscathed? He stood up. Turning, he saw Gladio and Ignis. "You're okay! I'm okay! What just happened!? Where's Noct?" Prompto looked around, worried. 

"Why wouldn't we be okay?" Ignis looked up from his phone. 

"Where were you guys?" Gladio turned away from the brush he had been watching. He had spotted some monsters. 

Noctis stood up, groaning. "Oh, ouch, only have two hundred health points left. Better call the chocobos so we can get back to that caravan." 

The birds answered his whistle by sprinting up and ramming into him. "Hey, calm down. Ya stupid oversized chicken. I'll make a soup outta you. Oh, new recipe! I mean, that's it! I've come up with a new recipe!"

Ignis glared at him darkly. Before he could say anything the monsters Gladio had been watching attacked. 

The chocobo began to fight the monsters with Noctis' friends. The king, however, was frozen in place. "Aw crap, I hate this glitch. Now I need to reload. Damn, I haven't saved since Hammerhead!" Groaning, Noctis closed his eyes and focused. 

-o-

"The engine upgrade shouldn't be too expensive..." Ignis pulled into the auto shop's parking lot. 

"And Cindy should have it done quickly! She's pretty talented. Hey, can I interest you in some shopping?" 

"Might not be a bad idea to stock up." They exited the car. 

"Come with us, Noct!" 

Noctis followed the blond into the minimart. "Hey, what color do you think I should paint the car?"


	3. Chapter 3

"Uh, Noct?" 

Prompto watched as his best friend ran in circles. Around and around he went for a good five minutes. 

He suddenly stopped and finally spoke. "Oops, the controller fell over. Well, at least I'll have a hot summer bod. Noctis, I mean. Not me... These nachos won't do me any favors."

"Nachos? Dude, the last thing we ate were those fritter things at the outpost." Prompto shuddered, they had almost come back up when Noctis had landed the Regalia on a tiny strip of dirt road. They had been mere inches from smashing into a rock wall. 

"Pardon me, but why are we here? The map doesn't have anything here except the road we're standing on." Ignis glanced around at the ashen landscape. He saw a series of hot springs a short distance away. 

Gladio took a couple of steps. "Hey, there are some of those giant bird monsters over there." He pointed past some rocks where the large avians were wandering. 

"Yeah, gloogle warned me all about this place. Come on, we're looking for a dungeon called Pitioss Ruins. I read this cool fan theory about it and everything." Noctis led his friends through the mysterious area. 

"Noct, what's gloogle?" 

"Don't worry about it, Blondie."

Noctis ran into one of the steaming pools. "Logically, I should be writhing in pain. This spring is far enough from the volcano to be safe, but the massive amount of rising steam indicates that this water is really hot. I'm just gonna keep standing in it though."

The other three stood on a rock overlooking the water. "Maybe you should get out now." Gladio watched some steam rise directly behind Noctis. Haha, it looked like a cartoon fart...

"Ooh, a campground! Ooh, some malbodooms! They should be easy to beat, that timed quest was good training. Ooh, spices! And more car paint deposits!" Ignis marked the map as his king's attention deficit discovered everything. 

"Look out!" Prompto fired at the wasps that had appeared from nowhere. Literally nowhere, there hadn't been anything around them two seconds earlier. 

Almost three hits later, Ignis was on the floor. 

"You're staying there Mr. Smarty Chef, I'm sick of you using up all my stuff. My OCD requires me to keep everything at 99. You keep ruining it."

Prompto tried to make his way over to help the fallen advisor. A wasp caught him by surprise, and he stumbled around dazedly. He gasped and aimed at Noctis. 

Noctis dodged. "I love you, you're my favorite, but you're gonna ride that out too." 

"Noctis! Quit being a jerk and help them!" Gladio took down one of the wasps. 

And then the evil chickens attacked. 

One of the regaltrice chicks immediately began jumping on Noctis. "This is horribly painful and hilariously adorable at the same time!" After the chick finished destroying his rib cage, Noctis warp striked it to death. 

The astrals must've run out of popcorn or something, because they decided to get off of their lazy butts to help the heroes. Well, one of the astrals showed up. Better than nothing. 

Blue glitter and eerie red light engulfed the battlefield. "I'm pressing L2! Get out here already!" Noctis dodged a tail feather attack. 

Shiva strolled in, a latte in hand. "Sorry I'm late, I didn't want to come. I lost Rock Paper Scissors, so I got stuck helping you losers." 

"Just do your stupid strip show and freeze these dumb birds!" 

Everybody shivered through the astral's undressing and flying around. Gentle snowflakes danced down as Shiva flew away. "Later, dorks!"

Noctis walked over to Prompto, who was intensely shaking. "Come here, we'll share body heat. You poor baby, you're just wearing a tank top and a vest. Actually, put on your glaive coat right now. You can take it off when the snow stops."

"I'm f-f-fine... J-just need to wait a s-s-second..." Prompto looked down. When had he put on the coat? He didn't remember. 

Noctis exited the menu screen. "There. All better."

"I'm cold too." 

"Then button your stupid shirt, Abs McGee. You should've brought better gear, I shouldn't have to dress you. I'm not your mother." Noctis led the men towards the campground, stopping when he saw the malbodooms. 

"Actually, let's fight the evil Venus flytrap octopus first. We'll get the experience now, and then get more when we fight it again tomorrow morning. Plus I want those spices that were placed exactly on the battle trigger line." 

Ignis tried to reason with the king. "Shouldn't we eat and recover from our last battle?"

"What's the point? You'll be dead within the first five minutes, and I'll just spam Prompto's piercer technique until I can warp strike its' last few health points off."

Noctis charged at the deadly plants. 

-o-

"So, honest question. Why is it that some of your pictures are so beautiful I want to cry, but then other pictures look like a two year old took them? And how do you get full body shots of yourself mid battle?" 

Noctis held up three photos. The first of them showed the four friends smiling. The second showed leaves, branches, and a clear sky. The last photo showed Prompto wielding two pistols, looking like a b.a.m.f. 

"Uh, photographer's secret???" Prompto didn't know how to answer. 

Ignis wandered over with their food, interrupting the conversation. "Enjoy it, lads, this was the last of our rice."

"Another question. How are you making these five star meals on that tiny portable cooktop? On top of that we're always acting like we're poor. In reality, I've collected over two million gil." 

Ignis sighed. Poor Regis must be turning over in his grave, lamenting over how delusional his son was. "I manage our funds, and I can assure you that we do not have that much. Please eat your food before it gets cold." He moved back over to sit with Gladio, who was busy doing push-ups. The advisor figured Prompto was better equipped to deal with Noctis' antics. 

-o-

The party climbed the steps to the dungeon the next morning. "Chocobo turds! This doesn't open until night! Let's go re-kill everything in the area. That should eat up the day."

The Crownsguard trudged behind their king. After fighting all day they practically collapsed in front of the ruins as Noctis charged in. 

He noticed the 'left party' notification on the top of the screen. Noctis walked back to see what his friends were doing. 

They were just waiting there. It looked like they were having a conversation, but when he moved closer he didn't hear anything. "Whatcha talking about?"

In his attempt to eavesdrop he moved too close. They stopped 'talking' and moved back, complaining about the invasion of personal space. 

"Alright, I'm going in now. See you later."

Noctis left his friends waiting and entered the ruins once more. 

-o-

Seven hours. 

Seven hours of platforming torture. 

Seven hours of cursing, and the last half hour made the alcohol come out. 

Noctis knew he'd have nightmares about this place. 

He exited the ruins with the best accessory in the game. Stumbling back to his friends, he immediately saved. There was no way he was going to ever return there. 

"NOCT! You're finally back! You've been gone for like, nine days!" 

Prompto launched himself at the filthy king. Noctis patted his back in a weak attempt at regaining his grip on reality. "What did you guys do while I was gone?"

Gladio clapped a hand on the blond's shoulder before he could answer, shooting him a glare. Noctis didn't need to know about what happened in his absence. 

"We mostly hung out here, waiting for you to get back. We went to the campground at night, though." 

"We should head back so you can shower. You're disgusting... Why are you wearing your white shirt? You entered wearing your father's clothes." Ignis butted in before Noctis could work more details out of the blond. 

"All that jumping made the chains clink, and the cape flap. I was very irritable... I needed to change to maintain some shred of sanity."

Noctis shuffled back to the tent, scarfed down some food, and passed out. 

"Why didn't you want me to tell him we streamed anime on my phone?" Prompto opened up the neatflix app so they could watch the next episode. 

"Do you really want to introduce him to this show? He'll force you to cosplay with him." Ignis pointed to the main character's sidekicks. 

Gladio laughed. "He'd probably make you be the cat alien!"

"Alright, I won't tell him." Ignis was probably right. Prompto didn't feel like being humiliated for life, so he cleared the app's watch history. 

When Noctis awoke at two in the afternoon the next day they set off. 

"Are you going to get in the car?" Ignis was slightly annoyed. Noctis had forced them to fight everything one more time before they got to the car. 

"Hold on, I'm saving again." He finally sat down, ignoring the confused looks. 

Noctis flew the Regalia out of the volcanic section of the map. "Let's all vacation at Galdin Quay. I need a couple of days to chill." 

They flew off into the sunset. And then crashed onto the beach. 

-o-

"No, we're going to take a vacation! I've earned it!" Noctis flew them safely to the beach. 

He went fishing and Prompto took lots of pictures while Ignis made Gladio try his new recipe. They lived happily ever after. 

Until the game was reloaded the next day. 

"Time to do the sealed doors quest!"


End file.
